Queues, bad facilities, and harassment: The reality of the match day experience for female fans

My phone buzzes. “Arsenal have got a penalty,” the text reads. It vibrates again: “they’ve scored, can’t believe you missed it!!”.

But, I can believe it. I’m a woman stuck in the queue for the toilets at the Continental Cup Final; a queue which has snaked out the bathroom and down past the bar inside the stadium for the whole of the first half.

With over 19,000 supporters heading to Selhurst Park to watch Arsenal face Chelsea in the women’s Cup Final, you’d think someone would have thought that eight toilets for all the women in attendance wouldn’t have been enough. Sadly, you’d be thinking wrong.

For myself and the tens of thousands of women who head to stadiums across the country to watch football, this is not an isolated incident – and it's one which adds to the long list of gender-based problems that maintain the narrative that football stadiums are only a space for men.

“It’s just not good enough,” says Nicky Brennan, a life-long football supporter, on the experience for women at Selhurst Park. “There’s no point trying to get women to come to the football and saying it's supposed to be an inclusive environment, if when you get there, there just aren't the facilities for us.”

As a committed Aston Villa supporter, Brennan has been to hundreds of matches, both for the men’s and women’s game, and has had similar experiences across the United Kingdom.

“The toilet situation is dire,” says Mia Stapleton, a Bradford City fan. “There have been times where I’ve been queuing for that long that I just haven’t bothered going, as I’d have missed half a game if I waited.”

Choosing to watch the game instead of queuing for the toilet is a luxury that some women won’t be able to afford. Issues such as incontinence, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), and the need to change sanitary products when on your period, are all time-sensitive cases which can create stress and anxiety.

“It’s unacceptable that women who go to watch a football match are being made to suffer the indignity of poor facilities,” says Stephanie Hilborne OBE, CEO of Women in Sport. “There need to be enough female toilets that women are not worrying about leaking whilst standing in long queues, sometimes with the added stress of children desperate to pee. No woman or girl should be forced to miss part of a match simply because she is waiting to use a toilet.”

Missing large parts of matches and memorable moments of football action takes the enjoyment and appreciation out of the match day experience. At the Continental Cup Final, I missed 15 minutes of action, a penalty decision, and a goal in the time it took for me to go to the toilet and get back to my seat. My boyfriend, however, missed a few minutes, and managed to return to watch the rest of the final with a burger in hand.

On the issues experienced at Selhurst Park, Kieran Theivam, a Football Association representative, said: “Selhurst was chosen because it met a lot of the criteria we were looking for, but obviously it wasn’t 100 per cent perfect. My personal opinion is women should always feel included and comfortable at a football match.”

Inclusivity in football is certainly on the rise on the pitch, of course helped by the success of the Lionesses at the Euro’s last summer. The 2022 annual survey by Sport England found that there were 100,000 more girls playing football than there were five years ago.

One of these young girls is Nicky Brennan’s nine year-old daughter, who has fallen in love with the game and has started playing for her local team. Brennan believes that stadiums need to address the facilities available on match days to prove to girls, like her daughter, that they are welcome in the stands as well as on the pitch.

“Football is supposed to be about enjoyment and I want her to feel like she belongs – because she does,” says Brennan. “If she has bad experiences when she’s young, why would she want to keep going to matches? I think it could definitely put her off football.”

For Brennan, it’s not just about the toilets either. The issues of gender-bias on match days are also rooted in fan behaviour with a 2021 report revealing that one in five women have experienced unwanted physical attention when attending men’s football matches.

“I get horrible abuse when I’m at the football and it starts from the journey there. We’ll get a lot of sexualised comments, especially if I wear my football shirt,” says Brennan.

“I had a really horrendous game on Boxing Day last year. I was going to get a drink at half time and this man was trying to proposition me to go into the toilet with him,” she says. “When I take my daughter, there are certain parts of the ground that I just won’t sit in anymore.”

Looking ahead, particularly with the Fifa Women’s World Cup this summer, football organisations must consider previous failings if they wish to continue the rising numbers of women interested in football. Women must be made to feel safe, included, and welcomed in the stands, as well as in and around stadiums.

“As a matter of urgency clubs need to redesign the gender-biased facilities at their stadia to reflect women’s needs,” says Stephanie Hilborne. “There needs to be a mass retrofit of existing stadia if we are to improve the experience for women.”